Handling Emotions, Stress and Girding for Battle

Handling Emotions, Stress, & Girding for Battle

Your ability to handle your emotions and stress will have a major impact on your cancer and the treatment for it, as well as your subsequent recovery. In fact, stress plays such an important role it may have been the cause of your cancer in the first place. They’ve not been able to prove that yet, but that’s only due to the fact that the stress and your auto-immune system have such far ranging effects that they’ve simply not been able to separate them out to get the data required for statistical proof needed for that. They have been able to show how stress affects cancer once you already have it, and the ability to handle stress well is of major importance in patient recovery.

Our Immune System:

As I understand it, the system works like this: We are all exposed to cancer cells in our bodies each day, but in a healthy body where the immune system is working well, it destroys them and we go on to lead healthy lives. However, if the immune system is overstressed, impaired or hindered enough, it cannot destroy them, and they are allowed to remain in the body and grow, and we contract cancer.

The immune system is a very complicated one in our bodies, and I don’t pretend to know all that it does. I do know, however, that the immune system is linked to the stress that we have, and when that stress becomes high enough for long enough, it impairs the immune system. Another function of the immune system is to control allergic reactions. Again, when it is impaired it cannot do that job competently, and we have allergic reactions.

From what I’ve learned through my research in the last few years, I think I must have had cancer since 1996. How do I know that? Well, in that year I first began to have bizarre allergic reactions to medication and some environmental substances that I’d never been allergic to, at all. I did have allergies prior to that, but they were just your everyday, run of the mill allergies. Suddenly, however, I had a severe sinus infection after having a bad reaction to something, and when they gave me some sulfa medication (which I had taken several times before with no reaction at all), I immediately began vomiting violently with it flying ten feet across the room! They had to give me Demerol, something I’ve never had since then. I also became allergic to Penicillin. I developed a strong allergy to mold, my allergy to dust was greatly heightened and I became very allergic to woodsmoke (and I lived in a home heated with it), among other things.

The Results of High Stress:

I had always had a high stress level; it runs in my family, but in the five years prior to being diagnosed I lost first my grandmother, who was extremely close and dear to me, and a year later I lost my oldest son, Billy. Less than two years later I lost the business I’d put every fiber of my being into for more than six years, and then I lost my marriage of 43 years. The result of all these things was that I broke down both physically and mentally, and my life went through a tremendous upheaval.

Although I was a smoker, I will never be convinced that all that stress had no bearing on contracting my cancer.

While I had never been really ill, I had not been extra healthy, either. I was very thin when I was young, and sickly. After I became pregnant and began taking vitamin supplements, however, I had very few health problems other than those caused by stress and allergies.

Diagnosis:

I was 64 years old when I was diagnosed, and I had been ill for five years prior to diagnosis. It worsened over time and I was unable to find a doctor who could find, or even look for a cause. Other than the crazy allergic reactions, my only other symptom was a high white blood cell count, signifying inflammation in the body, according to my doctor.

The tumor they discovered in August 2002 was large, about 5.5 centimeters, I think. It was so large, in fact, that they thought it could not be cancer, and changed their diagnosis, delaying a final decision for three months while they watched it, since due to its location they didn’t want to do a needle biopsy. In December, they decided it had to be cancer, so my third diagnosis was positive for cancer, and they did a needle biopsy to confirm it. I sought a second opinion in early January, and immediately began chemotherapy, with surgery the goal once they had it reduced to a smaller size. There is no cure for my cancer if you cannot have surgery. And, the cure rate for all lung cancer patients is, in their words, “dismal” at a 15% recovery of five years. Lung cancer kills more people than the next three types put together!

Thankfully, I did not ask for my prognosis, for statistics, or what my chances might be. I felt that God was in charge of my life, so they did not matter. I know now that I would not have come as far as I have if I had known everything at the time. Once they tell you something it is most difficult to put it out of your mind, and completely disregard it, and it just adds to the load of stress.

So, we are back to that again… stress.

Decisions, Decisions, Decisions:

Being told you have cancer can be so devastating you actually become immobilized. That is very dangerous! Since not long after I was diagnosed I have been trying to make more people more knowledgeable about cancer, for knowledge is the first step toward de-mystifying it, and the subsequent release of a lot of stress. It is only when you have conquered stress and your emotions that you can begin to move ahead and begin fighting wholeheartedly.

From the moment you are diagnosed with cancer, you are asked to make very important decisions regarding your life and what you will do with it. Do you want treatment? If so, what kind? If not, what do you plan to do? You have to have tests and tests and more tests; you are given choices at whirlwind speed and asked what you want to do. It is all pretty mind-boggling, and all those I’ve known felt very inadequate to make those decisions. How do you make a life-changing decision when your head is in a muddle, already? I remember thinking at some point that I was completely at a loss. After all, the doctors were the ones with all the training, all the knowledge, and all the information. I instinctively knew that they were not telling me everything even though I’d asked them to, so how was I to make these important decisions?

I eventually developed a system, and that was to pray about every decision that was coming up, a lot, and my husband Jim and I discussed each of them thoroughly, trying to see the options from all sides. I would then make a list of any questions I still had that were unanswered, and notes to help me with discussing whatever it was with my oncologist.

Quantity or Quality?:

In examining my feelings, it occurred to me that my choices were always of the same type. I was not ready to give up on life, no matter what. If God chose to take me, He would. As long as he gave me life here, however, I needed to do what seemed best to lengthen it, first, and then to improve the quality of it. That is the first major decision you’re required to make with cancer, and since it is your life, the patient always makes that decision. The choices are basically, “quantity” of life, or “quality of life.”

Choosing quantity, meaning you want more of life, means choosing some form of treatment. Choosing quality of life, you choose to enjoy however much of life you have left, as much as you can without the effects of treatment. Generally this shortens your life a great deal. Through prayer I was convinced that I was to choose the road I’m on, and that’s why I’ve made the choices I have. Each of us is different, however, and each is entitled to decide what they want to do with their life; a doctor will not make that decision for them.

So, if you choose to have treatment, then you have to decide what treatment to have. There are a number of choices today. The problem is which is right for you? I have been very blessed to have a strong faith, so much of the fear, doubts and indecision that many face are not a problem. It has been clear for all to see how God is working in my life, so I have no doubt whatsoever that as long as I ask for guidance, it is given, and that’s how I proceed. I firmly believe that this is all in His plan for my life, and I am to follow wherever He leads, and that makes it much easier for me than for many people who face these challenges.

All I can tell you to do is to examine within your heart what you feel you should do, and then do it with all that you have in you, because make no mistake – you are fighting for your very life!

I nursed my mother-in-law who contracted cancer in the late 70’s, for 18 months, and the strides that have been made in conventional cancer treatment are nothing short of stupendous, and many types of cancer have very good recovery rates now. Several that come to mind are breast cancer and colon cancer, as well as prostate cancer, if they’re all found before they reach advanced stages.

Practical Help:

Here are some tips about how you can reduce the stress, harness your emotions, and deal with it all so you can speed your recovery:

You will feel much better once you know more about it and are taking active steps yourself to work toward recovery. So, get busy and research, if you are a research-type person. You’ve already made a beginning in that direction or you wouldn’t be reading this page! Whatever treatment you’ve decided to have is going to take a toll on your body. Cancer is very aggressive, and only strong medicine can stop it. You can do a lot toward preparing your body, mitigating side effects, and helping your body cope with treatment. There is further information about that on this site. Check the list of Making Life Better in the table at the bottom of the page to read about them.

Each type of treatment has different side effects, but there are a number of them that are common to most all treatments, and those include fatigue, the number one rated side effect, experienced by almost all cancer patients. Some of it is caused by the cancer, and more may be created due to treatment. Something they are still learning about, but which affects at least 50% of all cancer patient is something called “Muscle Wasting,” and in most cases there is some nausea, and problems with digestive systems, including either diarrhea or constipation. Since the treatment and such additional medications as are required to be given all have their side effects, everything you can do to lessen their severity is going to help your body. Much can be done in the way of diet and nutrition to help with that, and the information on my pages will help you with those aspects.

Since I have my strong faith, my wonderful husband, and a large support group, the stress that I now have is actually less than the stress I had before I had cancer, as hard as that is to believe. I urge you to seek out your faith if you have it, to help you through this ordeal. Beyond that, I need to feel productive to be happy, and in working toward the goals of reducing stress and improving health, I gain in productivity, health, and well being. You will too, if you’ll work toward those goals each day. Even if you can take only one small step the first day, if you will “push the envelope” as far as you can and reach beyond it each day, you’ll be amazed at what you can accomplish.

Keep physically active – work on this every day, as it will play an important role in how you feel, how well you will be able to live life, and how well, as well as how quickly, you will recover from treatment. If you can get out and walk, do so. If not, get a treadmill and walk inside. This will greatly help you in reducing stress, too.

After much prayer and much thought I finally came to peace about my illness. While I never thought the “why me?” thing, I did have a period in which I felt there was a death sentence hanging over my head, and wondered how I could live with that every day for the rest of my life, worrying that every little ache and pain was a more terrible cancer beginning in my body. Well, it is very simple. I removed that death sentence. How? Well, as I said, after much prayer it magically occurred to me that it was all in how I was looking at it. Not one of us has any guarantees to life beyond this breath we are taking right now, so how was I different than anyone else? Was I going to waste every day worrying about something I had no control over, or was I going to get up and live life as fully as I could? I think you can guess what I chose to do. From that day on I began making plans for the future as I always had, and while I am sometimes not well enough to carry them out, I’m able to bring some of them to fruition, and I am very thankful for every one of those.

There is still a lot of controversy over whether visualizing your cancer and “willing it” out of your body has any benefits to the cancer patient. I do know they use it extensively with children who have cancer, and for me, it helps me to feel I am actively involved so I do often visualize it. I don’t believe I can do that alone, I don’t believe I have the power to do that. God can, however, so I ask His help in that as well as other things. I certainly don’t see what it can hurt.

Your Patient/Doctor Relationship
This is a very important aspect of your cancer treatment that I'm going to set it apart. Please go to Patient Rights and Responsibilities to find important information to help you.

While living with cancer is not something I’d ever have chosen for myself, Jim and I have been amazed at the blessings that have come our way from having this illness. I will not try to mention them, but they are quite numerous, and we have been richly blessed in our lives. Cancer does not have to be the end. There’s no doubt that it turns your life topsy-turvy and completely changes it, but it can also be the beginning of a new life, and that is how I find myself looking at it now. This is “what is,” so deal with it and move on with life, and you’ll be richly rewarded, too.

Lastly, to read a blow-by-blow account of my treatment and recovery since January 2003, go to my Journal Index and begin reading the dated Journal Updates there. They might just have the motivation you need! If you have questions, or feel I can help in other ways with your cancer recovery, drop me an email and I’ll try to help. Just click on the email link below and it will get to me.

Page Created December 5, 2006
Page Design and Graphics: